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Satan Announces Retirement Thanks To TikTok

Posted by $ allosaur 6 months ago to Humor
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Today Satan told Fake News reporters burning in hell that he is stepping down from his role as "the adversary."
The Devil credits TikTok, an invention he developed with business partner Xi Jinping, for completely taking over his job description.
"Hell's freaking bells, even I'm a little scared of TikTok," Satan said. "I never use that damn thing. Not me!"
In related Babylon Bee news, Communist Dictator Gary Newsom recently welcomed Chinese President Xi to SanFranSicko.
There was not a homeless person or a speck of poo in sight. Good job, El Presidnte Greaser Dude!

All Comments

  • Posted by $ Suzanne43 6 months ago in reply to this comment.
    You won’t great Dino. You are too good of a Conservative to be hellburned. Now dictator Newsom, that’s another story.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 6 months ago in reply to this comment.
    According to the poet John Milton, Lucifer thought it better to rule in hell that to serve in heaven.
    That's what dino calls a "some like it hot" kinky masochist.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ allosaur 6 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Me dino agrees.
    Just studied the Babylon Bee photo. I can see the dark pupils so I guess those eyes are blue.
    That along with a Caucasian looking nose means the devil is a red white man a bit dirtied by some hellish soot.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by mccannon01 6 months ago
    I know it's only satire, but the BB really screwed up this time by picking up on an obvious satanic lie. Smirk smirk.

    Oh, don't forget to click on the BB's take on 10 Republican budget cuts to balance the budget, LOL!
    Reply | Permalink  

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