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Objectivist Parenting

Posted by Vinay 10 years, 5 months ago to Culture
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On Parenting, with Reason & Individualism (Objectivist style).


All Comments

  • Posted by Kerryo 10 years, 5 months ago
    I have to say that I missed the balance in this article. Yes, give them the freedom to make mistakes and experiment to find their passion. But I've also seen kids who were given no bounds and were left to struggle to figure out if their parents actually cared enough to say no in order to protect their safety (usually). I've never seen the authoritarian style work without some serious rebellion from the kids, though.

    I agree that as parents we really can't (or shouldn't) take credit for our children's success. And for any parent I think we all know that we don't get through our kid's adolescence without a lot of luck.
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  • Posted by Maritimus 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Sorry to hear the first part. More respect for you and you successes.
    Enjoy the turkey and the trimmings.
    Happy Thanksgiving!
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  • Posted by Herb7734 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    No, you had nothing to do with my father. He was a mean-spirited little man.
    We gave up doing the turkey at home thing years ago. Now, we go to our favorite Thanksgiving restaurant which puts on a wonderful dinner with more than all the trimmings. It's a roadhouse style place that we have christened "Tommy's Turkey Tavern."
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  • Posted by Maritimus 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Of course. I stand corrected. Roots go deep. Please remember that I did not send your father into any troubles.
    P.S. Take it easy on the turkey. Will it be fried or baked?
    All the best.
    Sincerely,
    Maritimus
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  • Posted by teri-amborn 10 years, 5 months ago
    Steadfast parenting leads to steadfast children which leads to steadfast adults.
    When reality and reason are abandoned while parenting, adulthood is delayed and sometimes never achieved.
    The goal is to create well-adjusted adults who achieve happiness...whatever their productive goals are.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Their brains are yet unformed. Being moronic is actually quite advanced for them, as a moron refers to someone with a 12 year old intellect. But actually, children are childish. They are supposed to be. If they show a proclivity toward an adult aptitude, that is often a bonus, or a passing interest. You never know what it might lead to.
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  • Posted by CircuitGuy 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I've had a similar experience to you and Maritimus. The truth can be hard, but there's comfort in knowing their parents aren't lying to them.

    I have not taught them to be all about wealth building, but my 6 y/o has a natural tendency to save, invest, and work. He likes opportunities to rake and shovel. My 4 y/o is young yet for that. My 6 y/o spontaneously mentioned going by Target that their managers are probably using his money to buy toys and if they pick toys kids like he'll make money. That's amazing. A lot of the time, though, they act like total morons. I can't believe they're going to be driving cars in a few years.
    When they were babies I questioned if the things we were doing would pay off. So far, at this early stage, they appear to.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Nothing lucky about it.
    Even though I read Rand from my teens forward I didn't consider myself an Objectivist until I met a psychologist friend of Branden and took the Basic Principles course. As to lying, I discovered that the truth was better, even though it could be painful. When oldest son at around age 8 needed allergy shots. The nurse & doctor told him that it's no worse than a mosquito bite. I took him aside and told him that he's going to get a painful needle, which will cause his arm to swell and then itch like hell. But I also told him that he was a tough guy and could handle it. Not even a whimper. He showed it off like a badge of honor. I'm happy for you and your sons. It is one of the great satisfactions in life. Especially since my son has recently become a grandpa himself. 4th generation? We'll see.
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  • Posted by Maritimus 10 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Hi, Herb,
    Congratulations! I have a similar experience, also two sons. I set out, explicitly, even before I met my wife, to raise better people than I am. Never, ever lied to them, treated them as if they were older and more mature than their ages. If you knew all three of us, you would easily see that I succeeded. They are my closest friends and being a father became the most satisfying thing in my life. I know exactly what you are describing. We are both lucky, although most of the time I think that we earned it.
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  • Posted by Kittyhawk 10 years, 5 months ago
    Brilliant article! I had read it before, and agree wholeheartedly that children should be respected.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 10 years, 5 months ago
    Both my sons and I had a good relationship and as they grew up, I noted how they copied my actions, even to signing their names in the same manner I did. Upon realizing this I felt obligated to set a good example. Both became Objectivists by osmosis. Both became more successful in terms of $$ than me, and had insights that I have been able to learn from. What a great resource!
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  • Posted by Temlakos 10 years, 5 months ago
    It takes up beautifully where Rand left off. This style of parenting would, I imagine, be all the rage in Galt's Gulch.
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  • Posted by LetsShrug 10 years, 5 months ago
    "Let them bloom...and never enter the garden uninvited." :)
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  • Posted by Snoogoo 10 years, 5 months ago
    Good article, explains why kids of helicopter moms and dads look so sad all of the time...
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