40 shockingly simple skills that today's pathetic Millennials have no idea how to do

Posted by $ Olduglycarl 9 years, 4 months ago to Humor
9 comments | Share | Best of... | Flag

Read this and weep for humanity's future...Note: I am sure there are exceptions.


#1) Plant a seed in dirt and grow an edible plant.

#2) Change a bicycle tire.

#3) Sharpen a pencil.

#4) Identify the name of any tree or bird in the real world.

#5) Check the oil level in any engine.

#6) Name a single star in the night sky.

#7) Change a blown fuse in anything (or even reset a circuit breaker).

#8) Drive a stick shift. (Many don't even know what "stick shift" means.)

#9) Navigate using a printed map without using GPS.

#10) Strike a punching bag without injuring their frail, fragile wrists.

#11) Repair a broken garden hose without throwing it away and buying a new hose.

#12) Stop bleeding with a tourniquet.

#13) Cut a piece of wood in a straight line using a hand saw.

#14) Carry a 50 lb. bag of animal feed on their shoulder for 50 meters.

#15) Cook a real meal that isn't "instant" or microwaveable.

#16) Start a camp fire, even with a lighter.

#17) Sharpen a knife, even using a knife sharpener.

#18) Build a shelter in the forest by using only forest materials.

#19) Use a car jack without ripping the bumper off the vehicle.

#20) Chop wood for a wood stove.

#21) Locate and reset the ground fault tolerant button on an electrical outlet to restore power to the outlets.

#22) Dry clothes on a clothesline.

#23) Strip a copper wire.

#24) Securely tie a rope to anything at all.

#25) Calculate a 15% waiter tip in their heads.

#26) Make a broken bone splint out of anything at all.

And for advanced skills, Millennials have absolutely no idea how to do any of the following:

#27) Catch a fish.

#28) Clean a pistol.

#29) Swap out the hydraulic hose on a piece of farm equipment.

#30) Intelligently read any food label.

#31) Purify water using a plastic bottle and sunlight.

#32) Make a water filter out of charcoal and sand.

#33) Fold a paper airplane.

#34) Make an emergency funnel out of aluminum foil.

#35) Chop down a dead tree with an axe.

#36) Read a compass.

#37) Cut a stuck seatbelt to escape a burning vehicle.

#38) Paddle a canoe in any intended direction at all.

#39) Open any can of food without using electricity.

#40) Siphon fuel from the gas tank of an abandoned car.

Now ask yourself this question, and answer honestly. Given that most Millennials know absolutely nothing about the real world -- and have no real-world skills to speak of -- how can they possibly survive the next great collapse?

The only time they're ever venturing out into the real world is when they're playing Pokemon Go (and walking off cliffs or stumbling into traffic as a result). Go figure..

FACT CHECK: Find your closest Millennial neighbor and ask them to carry out anything on this list. If you can find any Millennial who can do any of these things, you may have accidentally stumbled across an Eagle Scout troop meeting. For the rest of today's youth, they're clueless!


All Comments

  • Posted by M35A2 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Plus all they know is electronic fuel injection. They don't know what it's like to have a Holley 4 barrel carb and opening up that remaining 2 barrels on the open road.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Been there...
    Our 2016 escape has a five speed standard...the sales man said it was rare and didn't know how they got it...although it's ugly and looks like a number of other cars...it's a hoot with the tubo...it's the old woman's car. Im still driving my 07 ranger for the millage and because they don't make em anymore. 185mi's on the clock and still goin.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by M35A2 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Ford no longer offers a manual transmission, even as an option in their trucks. GM, has shelved it in their trucks, Dodge did offer one in the 1 ton and larger trucks a few years back. What few milenials that do know how to run a manual get all sorts of flustered when running the transmission in my deuce and a half army truck. Gears 3 and 4 require a sideways shift instead of the standard vertical movement. I started running farm equipment at an early age so the concept wasn't totally foreign in a vehicle. Ran a 4 speed then started driving the grain truck that had a 5+2 transmission. While in college, learned how to run a 10 and 13 speed roadrangers late one night hauling grain. My favorite was an International dump truck that had three ranges and an over drive. Kind of goofy set up, had the manual switch to go through the gears but then had an air switch on the shifter to go from, low, high, and over drive. At the end of the day there was something like 18 gears to operate in.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    El cheapo's, expensive imports, a few trucks and muscle cars you can still get stick shift...but like you say...not for long.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Comment hidden due to member score or comment score too low. View Comment
  • Posted by $ MichaelAarethun 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Fricking new geneation can't hot rod worth a ....
    Two doors, a good four speed manual gets three strips of rubber and a nasty chirp. 4:11 window rollers have been known to help. how do they rock out the mud or snow with an automatic? All they got is four tires on a go kart chassi with lots of boom boxes. Life is treating them cruel and they deserve it.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by M35A2 9 years, 4 months ago
    If they cleaned a pistol, they might have to go to their "safe" zone as they might be terrified of it. I might give them a pass on #8. About the only thing you can find new with a manual transmission is a semi, and that is slowly going away too.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ AJAshinoff 9 years, 4 months ago
    #41) Hold a conversation face to face.
    #42) Ask a girl on a date face to face.
    #43) Speak their mind while people know who they are.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Comment hidden due to member score or comment score too low. View Comment
  • Posted by $ MichaelAarethun 9 years, 4 months ago
    X+Y=Zero and then add none many millenials for a negative answer change. But if they need to do any of that they can look it up on their ClueBerryless.
    Reply | Permalink  

  • Comment hidden. Undo